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University of California Mandates All Conservative Professors Must Register

OAKLAND — The University of California (UC) public university system has announced all faculty who are determined to be “conservative” must register, display special badging and limit their student interactions while on campus.  The state-funded UC system consists of 10 campuses with more than 200,000 students and nearly 200,000 employees.

Under the program, a “conservative” is defined as anyone who is a registered Republican, has ever voted for a Republican for any office or has ever expressed support for freedom, individual rights, the rule of law, capitalism, limited government, meritocracy or American exceptionalism.

“This is about student safety.  Many UC students find conservative ideas dangerous and we do not want our future donors to look back at their university years as a period of intellectual exploration,” said Janet Napolitano, the President of the University of California and former Secretary of Homeland Security under President Obama.

The UC program heavily borrows from the tactics used by the National Socialist German Workers’ Party before and during WW II, the Chinese Communist Party during the Cultural Revolution and modern laws for registered sex offenders.

Professors who have been identified as conservatives must wear a special badge at all times.  They must also prominently display their badge in classrooms and on their office doors.  Failure to properly display badging can result in disciplinary actions.

It will be up to professors to self-register.  To ensure all conservatives are registered, any student or UC employee may accuse a professor of being a conservative.  If the professor denies the charge, a special tribunal will be convened in which the accused must prove that he or she is not conservative.  If it is determined that a professor has hidden his or her conservative leanings, the professor may be disciplined, including termination or losing tenure.

While on campus, registered conservatives will be required to wear GPS monitoring devices to track their locations at all times.  They will not be allowed within 250 feet of any sociology, psychology, communications, women’s studies, LGBT studies or African-American studies departments for fear of challenging the prevailing political orthodoxy in those departments.  Conservative professors will also lose all campus parking privileges and have separate sections in faculty facilities.

“Diversity and inclusion do not mean that people with thoughts and opinions outside of the progressive mainstream should have the same rights as others,” said California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newson (D-San Francisco).

According to research by Professor Joshua Dunn of the University of Colorado and Jon A. Shields of Claremont McKenna College, in certain academic disciplines 18% of professors self-identify as Marxists versus 5% as conservatives.

All campus course guides will clearly label any courses that are taught by known conservatives.  To reward the courage it takes to hear non-conforming ideas, UC students who enroll in courses taught by conservative professors will automatically receive A grades.

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